The Hitcher

Cover Art and Menu: 7/10
I like this cover. It’s short and sweet and gets to the point. The hitcher is creepy, end of. The menu is sucky though, it’s a still image with the navigation slapped on with the wannabe creepiness of the cover all bloody and stuff, but it’s boring. They could have at least added something like pulling the menu items between a big rig cab and its trailer:) Fans of the original, you know what I’m talkin’ bout here!!

Features: 7/10

  • 20 Minutes Of Deleted Scenes – Some of these scenes are extended versions of sequences in the final movie, and some are completely different versions of at least one section of the movie. It’s like they filmed a few different ways for a certain scene to play out, and then decided which worked best in the editing room. I don’t mean like a different angle or different tone of voice from one of the actors, I mean DIFFERENT whole way for certain things to happen that would actually change the tone of the story and how we view the characters.
  • Alternate Ending – The Hitcher won’t have a happy ending now matter which way you twist it and turn it, so an alternate ending can mean only one thing, how’s the blood gonna flow?
  • Road Kill Behind The Stunts Featurette – The stunts in this movie are extreme, and well done. This is a short look at how some of the car crashes are put together as well as some of the gory parts.
  • The Making Of The Hitcher Featurette – Why would Sean Bean do a remake of a semi-classic thriller flick in which he’s quite possibly one of the most cruel bad guys ever to grace the big screen? I guess that explains it right there. Being bad must feel pretty good. This feature also has bits and frizzles with the director and other cast members. It’s a pretty good offering but let’s be honest, we all want to hear what Rutger thinks, and he’s nowhere to be found.

The Movie 6/10:
To be or not to be entertained? That is the question here. I love gore and big stunts, but when that’s all a movie has to offer and they are banking on the remake value of one of my generation’s youthful memories. Do you reckon there were Shakespeare plays that people went to see back in the day and walked away thinking, “hmmm, tis adequate, however, it shall never satisfy my deepest desires to tease and stimulate my lonely aching intellect.” Funny, that’s exactly what I was thinking after seeing this version of The Hitcher.

I know it’s a popcorn flick. It’s not supposed to be probing or thoughtful. I have seen the original and I know the score, it’s a guy on a killing spree… and? I guess I’m getting spoiled by other stories in which we either get some incite into the psycho’s background or he’s so incredibly unapologetic he’s interesting so his need for blood is tolerable. I’m not saying Sean Bean isn’t interesting. I love the guy. He’s the best bloke for the role with his intensity and subdued British accent. It’s just that mixed in with the twenty-something teenyboppers (21 is the new 18) and the hard core redneck law enforcement his credibility falls apart a little bit and he’s not scary, just incredibly hot in that British way.

Another reason I wasn’t too concerned about what John Ryder was gonna do next was that I didn’t care if the leading people, hot sexy chick and Shaggy look-a-like got their heads chopped off or put on the rack (wink) or not. I would love to see a movie just once when the sex crazed couple who are supposed to be cute and sweet and we learn to love and care about them, get whacked in the first five minutes leaving the less annoying characters to battle the evil doer.

Don’t worry, I’m not telling you anything that’s not in the trailer or that you haven’t read about this story already. It’s basic and there is nothing hiding around some clever or intelligent corner. It’s killing and cars crashing and lots of panting, running, and over acting. I have always been put off by that actorly thing where someone is supposed to look for something and it’s right there but they flail around with their fingers and hands in a very cheap 4th grade acting kind of way until they finally decide to pick it up. I felt a lot of that kind of stuff in this version of The Hitcher. I will give credit to the young people for some good moments here and there. I won’t discount them totally based on this movie, but they did remind me of myself as a young girl pretending to be a Charlie’s Angel diving across the back of our couch and under the table in my very theatrical and overly dramatic style. You can pretend to make fun of me for doing it, but you know you did the same thing, either as one of the Angels, the 6 Million Dollar man, or Bionic Woman, or even Bruce Banner..come on, just admit it.

You see, I had to resort to talking about my childhood antics just to squeeze out a review longer than what would fit on a bubble gum wrapper. This movie is basic and gets to the point. It’s killin’, cars crashing, sexy chick in a short skirt, and great stunts. It’s not bad. It’s not good. It just is.

Sean Bean needs to make good use of that pay check. This movie will be forgotten, but a few million in the bank lives on and on and on.

Value: 5/10
Unless this flick is in the $7 range, I say rent it and have your Saturday night thrill, but spend the other dollarinos on something else, like the original. If you are a hard core fan of Sean Bean you will want to add this to your collection, but other than that, this is purely a popcorn flick, and not even that interesting, just full on action and blood letting, nothing else. That’s not bad, just not something I will want to watch again, and let’s face it. We have gas tanks to fill and tanning bed to lay in, a movie like this just doesn’t get on the priority list in the Summer of 2007.

Overall Score 6/10