Hitman Unrated Special Edition

Cover Art: 5/10
Can I take the option to pass on this portion of the review? No? Fine. This cover is not unexpected. It’s directly from the original video game. The lead character standing with a menacing look on his face and his two big guns. The menu is more of the same, well, not THE same, but not interesting enough to discuss in detail.

Extras: 5/10

  • In The Crosshairs Featurette – How does a video game get made into a movie? Well, no one has got it exactly right yet, but this is how this particular one got translated onto the big screen. Interviews and behind the scenes clips are enough to give me the distinct impression that no one was over-the-top thrilled to be making this movie. Judge for yourself.
  • Digital Hits Featurette – Scenes from the game compared to shots from the movie. This is a pretty good extra for any fans who doubt the sincerity of the film makers intent to represent the game with some accuracy. It will show just how closely they tried to mimic parts of the game.
  • Instruments Of Destruction Featurette – Guns from the movie, what they do, how they shoot, and an expert shooting them.
  • Setting The Score Featurette – Music. The score is discussed by the composer.
  • Deleted Scenes – Not much going on here, just a few scenes that didn’t fit in, one scene from the movie shot in a whole new setting, and an alternate ending.
  • Gag Reel -We all know what a gag reel is. Movie stars making mistakes, laughing, playing tricks on one another.
  • Digital Copy Of The Movie For Portable Media Players – If you have an Ipod or  you want to put a legal copy of this movie on your laptop or computer, this disc will walk you through your one time licensed copy.

The Movie: 5/10
Sex for money. They say that’s the oldest profession. I would have to disagree. If I took the time to research the subject I might discover I’m totally incorrect, but for the sake of this review, I’m sticking with my theory. Killing for money, now That’s got to be the oldest way to make a living. Hitmen have been at the heart of many many many stories in every language and every generation. It’s not a mystery why they are intriguing. The ability inside themselves to take lives for cash. It’s not something I would want to do, but it’s something to wonder about, and to invite us in to their world.

The video game Hitman wasn’t even the first to cover the subject of guns for hire, but I won’t keep reminding us all of what an unoriginal concept this is. I think you get the point.

This movie is based on Hitman the video game, so we will focus on it as if it were the only one of it’s kind. Then again, it’s hard not to find similarities with other assassin tales. We get a tiny bit of back story on the lead character. It looks like he was a child raised in some kind of academy, trained by monks who tattooed a barcode on the back of his head. This is all we get? Yea, no real explanation, no sob story or reasons for why and how he makes decisions through the events that we watch unfold.

#47, as our Hitman anti-hero is so affectionately named, is like a robot. We can surmise that because of this illusive childhood, he’s methodical, intense, and often seems like he has some kind of hyper ability to set up elaborate death schemes to suit his clients’ wishes. Timothy Olyphant is one of those people I was surprised by, interested in, and had a little bit of a swoon over, back in the Deadwood days. I wanted to see him in more and more movies. I got my wish. He has been in a few and I have to say, in all honesty, I’m starting to think he’s a one trick pony.
That intensity wears thin after a while. The sad hidden anger and actorly style plays well for a turn of the century sheriff in a muddy gun riddled wild west town, but once is enough. He’s not bad, don’t get me wrong. I like him as the Hitman. However, most of that like is left over from my previous swoon.
The only person I enjoyed watching for most of the movie was the lead woman, Olga Krylenssssski. Yes, she’s the typical “hot chick” with a short leather skirt, high heels, troubled past, wild hair, Smokey eye liner, and obligatory tattoo. Still, she shines through the somewhat boring character and made the movie more entertaining for me every time she hit the screen.

There were other good performances, but somehow most of the people seemed to be phoning this one in. That sounds so rude and they probably gave it their all, but folks, it wasn’t great.
The action scenes are standard, a chase here, and explosion there. The fight scenes are all average, except the one on the train turns into a pretty cool battle. I have a low tolerance for boring fight scenes after so many years of watching movies. It takes a lot to get my attention these days. I can’t describe the elements that make a fight scene watchable for me, I can’t really tell you. I suppose it’s a combination of gritty close up shots, great sound effects, and less martial arts/more down and dirty brawling. The fighting in Hitman is a bit too slick most of the time, and that goes for the gun fights too. Typical modern day shoot’em up scenes don’t do much for a jaded old chick like me.

Overall I would say the stars of this show were Olga, her nakedness, and the countries the movie was set in including Russia, Africa, and Turkey. The exotic factor of the locations has a whiff of Bond, but just a faint tiny sniff of a whiff, don’t go thinking I’m comparing….I’m not. Hitman is what it is, and this time around that means it’s a fair-to-decent action movie about based on a video game about a hired killer bred to be a murderous machine. Nothing more, nothing less. Now, show me an action movie about a video game based on an assassin prostitute, THAT one might just give me a thrill.

Value: 5/10
I’m not a fan of the extra 10 bucks you have to pay for the legal copy of the movie. I’m not a fan of the 19 dollars the standard DVD would cost. Therefore, if you are a fan of the game, or die hard fan of Timothy Olyphant, got rent this flick and spend your cash on something else, like a new piercing or bar code tattoo on your head, or maybe even one of the videogames. It’s not a purchase kind of DVD for me, that’s for sure.

Overall Score 5/10